Thursday, June 22, 2017

I Feel

I long for someone to understand me, I do not need any more demands to change
I miss the closeness that comes with the sharing of minds
I want to laugh, and I want someone to laugh with me, not at me
I want someone to hold hands with, someone to lay with me under the stars
I long for the comfort you only get from being close to someone special
I miss having a confidant to share my inner most thoughts with, and not be judged
Painful, painful, painful
Something that was that will likely never be again
The purpose was served and the obligation fulfilled
I broke something a long time ago for all the wrong reasons
What I broke has remained broken and I fear it cannot be remedied
It cannot be remedied doing the same thing over and over again
Though I did not break this all by myself
I have shouldered the weight of this burden alone or so it seems
I feel let down
I feel betrayed
I feel cheated
I feel blamed
I feel guilty
I feel lost
I feel sad
I feel empty
I feel so very alone
I feel like my life has been based on deceit
There was always an unspoken unknown of some sort
The communication stopped, a very long time ago
The communication, both verbal and physical
Stopped
I have been wrong
I have been wrong with my words and with my actions
I have been wrong in the way I have treated you
I have been wrong in the ways I have acted around you
I am so, so sorry
The Love
It will never be gone, it does not simply fade away
The closeness, a fond memory to be neatly tucked away
They say when one door closes another one opens
I am afraid to ever open another door
Once again
Once again
The pain






Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Sinking

Surrounded by the darkness, there is no hope in sight

Running ever faster tried to escape with all my might

Words they feel like daggers, cutting deep into my soul

A piece of me is missing, I don’t know how to make it whole

I meant no harm and I did no wrong yet guilty do I feel

Now I can do nothing more but bow my head and kneel

Every step I take is with my left, instead of moving with my right

I try to speak what is in my heart and it turns into a fight

I was happy in the darkness, then someone turned on the light


Always wrong it seems I am, don’t know if ever I was right

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Turmoil

Faster and faster and faster I go
Spinning round and round
Confusion surrounds me
Emotions overwhelm me
Cannot capture a thought
Don't remember what happiness is
All to familiar with sadness
Don't know where I am headed
Afraid to go alone
Feeling like I lost another piece of my soul
What is it about me
I offend everyone around me
I seem to make people dislike me
What on earth happened to me