Chaos

I was once grounded in a world of reality and simple dreams

I felt a sense of guilt and responsibility,  albeit unfounded

I have now opened the door to a life of chaos

A life of delusional thoughts

A life of grandiose unattainable dreams

A life filled with a growing resentment

A life that is now becoming shorter and shorter

Everything I do, everything I say, everything I think is wrong

I was wrong for so many years and nothing it seems has changed

I toiled for years and gave up some of my passions

Now I must give them up again

I have already started

I don't have time to wait

I don't have time to play catch up

I cannot keep starting over

I cannot always be wrong

I am a slave to my emotions

Now I am giving up

My friends

My passions

My hopes

My dreams

My life

An End

I think you are trying to kill me, I think you want me to die

These feelings are deep in my heart, I just cannot lie

Why oh why did you ever come back

Is it so you can witness my heart attack

The stress you bring makes me feel real old

Emotionless, weary and a heart that is cold

I don't know what you want, you are chasing a dream

In reality you only make my mind scream

I wish I could help you, I really do

But you won't help yourself, so what can I do

You make me mad, you are crushing my dreams

My brain is full and busting at the seams

It won't take long, less than a year

I hope you have a lovely life my dear