Old and Tired

Feel like my feet are stuck in the mud

Cloudy thoughts

Blurred vision

Floating aimlessly

Still struggle with the day to day

Forget, a lot

No motivation

No drive

No passion

Momentary bursts of energy

Long periods of tiredness and malaise

They are becoming more frequent

Not depressed

Simply lethargic

Feel worthless and lazy

Dark Voice

Always a calling

Always a voice

Always an answer

Always a choice

Sometimes bitter

Sometimes sweet

Sometimes far away

Sometimes at my feet

Never far away

Yet never close behind

A spot of darkness

Stains my mind 

Stop

I am my own anchor

I am my own ball and chain

Memories tied to my sordid past

Bring forth fountains of pain

I need no reminders of the failure I am

Lure

At the edge of the dark water

Will the lure 

Of the dark comfort

Draw me in

Giving way 

To what I am tired of fighting

So tired, so god awful tired

Quiet

That voice

That ugly nagging voice

You know

That voice

The one that constantly

Reminds me

Of what an utter

Failure 

I am

Reminds me of every failure

Constantly

Incapable of overcoming

This wall 

Of failures

Or the voice that reminds me

Pseudo

The tears they roll freely down my cheeks

The fears, unfounded, they make me seek

Sudden, onset sorrow, it barely lets me speak

Misplaced, for these feelings they make me want to hide

Invasive and pervasive, they simply have no place inside

Yet they swarm and gather and overwhelm my space

I am left feeling totally out of place

Gasping

Plagued by unending waves of emotion

Drowning in a sorrowful sea

I want to run but I flail

I want to talk but I wail

My mind is an empty wasteland

As vast as a star filled night

No compass

No guidance

No drive

No motivation

Nothing

Nothing but grief 

Nothing but feelings of emptiness

Nothing but feelings of inadequacy

Nothing but feelings

No action

Nothing

Nothing

Nothing