Depression

I have a burden I cannot seem to put down

I have a burden that I spread all around

I think a demon resides within my soul

I think a demon is exacting a terrible toll

I have days where I think nothing is wrong

I have days that read like a sad, sad song

I do not want to feel this way

I do not have the power to bring to sway

I am being punished I know this is true

I am being punished, when will it be through

I am tormented, tormented beyond my control

I am tormented, tormented, ever so slow

I once was a bright shining star

I am now but a shadow long and far
I wish, I wish, I could end my pain
I wish, I wish, I could stop this rain

Black

Darkness, darkness, black as night

Deep dark thoughts that just aren't right

Struggle and struggle and try to fight

Fighting, fighting, with all of my might

Such a pitiful fool, a pitiful sight

Happy Birthday

Sometimes I simply hate myself

I have fouled up every good thing in my life

I have never accomplished anything

I never finish anything

Not sure why I am even still here

Thoughts of death keep rolling through my mind

Why did I not die

When will I die

How will I die

What happens afterward

I am selfish

I am self centered

I am always angry

I push away those that truly love me
I have pushed away any friend I have ever had

I feel so lost

I feel so alone

I want to hide

Sometimes I simply hate myself

Buzz

Feeling scattered

Feeling so awfully jittery

Feeling alone

Feeling like my insides are vibrating

Feeling scattered

Asking

I still ask why

I still ask why

I still ask why

Why was I left behind

What am I supposed to find

I still ask why

Why oh why

Did I not die

Why 

Why

Why

Truth

Something as elusive as a shadow

Something as quick as a thought

As sharp as a razor

As deep as the black of night

Emptiness devours

Darkness descends

How quick

So very quick

Yet so long

So very, very long

In the making

Empty

So empty

Pretty rough

Like a bearing 

Without it's grease

It will cease to function

It will fail

Again

I speak without talking

I look without seeing

I feel without touching

I hurt others without trying

I live in a world of dreams

I amble on but I go nowhere

I am corrosive yet soothing

Crazy with a foul disposition

I want to talk

I want to be interested

I want to be involved

I do not know how to engage you

I cannot communicate, effectively

I cannot convey my thoughts

In a manner that you might understand

I become frustrated

I become angry

I am afraid to commit

I am afraid of being abandoned

I am afraid that my biggest fear is being realized

Again