Depression

My old friend

My old friend has come back again

My old friend

My dear old friend that I cannot stand

My old friend

My old friend has come to torture me again

My old friend

My old friend that tells me things

My old friend

My old friend that lies to me with every thought

My old friend

My old friend

I take up the battle

Once again

Bewildered

Waves of confusion keep rolling in my brain

Sheets of anxiety like a pouring rain

A shroud of doom hangs over my head

Don't know what I've done

Don't know what I've said

Keep trying and trying

Keep coming up short

Failure and misery

For me are sport

My demon speaks

It tells me lies

Makes me doubt my every word

Makes me give up

Before I even try

Cloudy

Wondering, wondering, wondering

Weary, weary, weary

What has happened to me

I seem to be on a journey 

Without a destination

Where is my spirit taking me

Seems like I have been on 

This road to nowhere 

For a long, long time

When does it change

When does it stop

Out Loud

When you have no hope

No joy, no sorrow

When you are numb to the world

When nothing makes sense anymore

No passion for life

No desire to learn

Feeling like I should be sleeping on the ground

Feeling like I know what failure feels like

Knowing that I know what it is to be the loser

Understanding that I do not understand

What I thought I understood

There is no plan 

Only pain

There is no peace

Only loathing

This has been a long hard ride

And I am becoming tired

I am becoming tired

I have been tired

I am tired

Silent

Stunned into stillness

Frozen in time

Everything around me

Grows so quick

I am the same as I ever was

Stuck in the back

Stuck in a different place

Stuck in a different time

Watching

Watching

Watching

A bystander

Watching

As the world goes by

Re Run

My soul is torn
Punishment is my reward
No light in my tunnel
Pain is my companion

           Loneliness is my friend 

Sorrow is a constant
No goals
No direction
No ambition
Same song
New day 
Same dance
New tune

Forever cast in my role

Search as I will

There is nothing to find now

No interest

Nothing stirs my soul 

 

 

No Answers

Like a broken wheel

Like a broken branch

Got a broken mind

Like a box with a broken latch

Overwhelming currents of emotion

More thoughts than can be processed

Cannot grasp a singular thought

Vibrating, vibrating, vibrating

Cannot speak, can barely hear

Please don't be mad at me

Like a deceivingly innocent child

That simply does not understand