Out of Tune

I'm stuck in a song where I don't belong

Like an out of place note

Got a hole in my tote

Got a hair on my nose

Don't know how to pose

Stuck in a song where I don't belong

Out of tune or out of touch

Don't seem like it takes to much

To sing the wrong song

An hour or a day

Possibly two if you may

But I'm gonna sing out of tune

In a song where I don't belong

Past

Chasing memories

Chasing ghosts

Chasing dreams

Eating toast

Don't know what to look for

Maybe it's already been found

Looking for music

Seeing the sound

Trying to see what is in my soul

Is there any hope

Or just a deep dark hole

I feel not right

I feel not well

I hope 

I do not

End up

In hell

To Much

I talk to much

I talk but I don't have much to say

I talk to much

I thought I had something to say

Echos in an empty bucket

I talk to much

I think I have something to say

Echos from the past

I want to have something to talk about

Echos in the dark

But I have nothing to say

I talk to much 

Interflection

A fragile balance

A friendly truce

Trying to make things right

Before I am through

A balanced existence

A thoughtful mind

A helping hand

A place without anxiety

A day without dread

Finding peace

Finding some joy

Not hating myself

For being alive

I was not fair

To myself

Still broken

Not shattered

Anymore

Blink

Down the rabbit hole I did go

Who would think and how would we know

From whence a turn I did not expect

Left me a complete and total wreck

From bliss to black and back again

My legs they move and my head it spins

I don't know where I went 

I don't know what I said

I remember thinking

That I was dead

Fear had overcame me

My reality was skewed

Colors and sounds

Before me were strewn

Separated

I was alone in a vast expanse

I separated from reality

There were the two of you

Yet I was not there

Bits and pieces

Glimpses

Terror

Extreme disassociation

In my mind

I died

I existed on a plain other than the physical

For the briefest of moments

Before it collapsed around me 

Engulfed me in terror

Then I returned

Slowly

Ever so slow

Foggy

Most amazing thing

Ever

Long Time

Been taught forever

But never learned

The hardest thing

I will ever do

Is to forgive

Myself

For ever doubting myself

For giving up on myself

For fucking up

For making poor decisions

For making mistakes

For things

Out of my control

Forgive others

But, Myself

Never understood

Never gave it a thought

Forgive myself

Forgive myself

Forgive everyone else

Forgive myself