Again

I speak without talking

I look without seeing

I feel without touching

I hurt others without trying

I live in a world of dreams

I amble on but I go nowhere

I am corrosive yet soothing

Crazy with a foul disposition

I want to talk

I want to be interested

I want to be involved

I do not know how to engage you

I cannot communicate, effectively

I cannot convey my thoughts

In a manner that you might understand

I become frustrated

I become angry

I am afraid to commit

I am afraid of being abandoned

I am afraid that my biggest fear is being realized

Again   

I Want

In a deep depressive state

Cannot remember if I was ever a nice person

I think I have a great dislike for myself

I used to like myself

Now

I feel like the shit

That gets stuck on your shoe

A foul stench follows

I have always been wrong

When I was a kid

When I was a young man

When I was a married man

Now when I am an aging man

Makes me want to hide from

My family

My friends

The world itself

I want to run away

I want

I want

I want

Spiral

No wind in my sail

No snap in my step

No reason to motivate

No reason to try

Wrong is wrong is wrong

Is wrong

Will I forever

Always

Be wrong