Mirror

 I look in the mirror

And what do I see

I see a piece of me

That you cannot see

Dark and ugly

Mean and rank

Lonely and scared

No one to thank

But the guy 

I see in the mirror

That you cannot see

Borrowed Time

It is a daily struggle to get out of bed

It is a daily struggle to avoid the dread

Sometimes I have a plan 

Other times I don't

I pretend to believe

You wouldn't even know

I feel frustrated with

My inability to accomplish

Anything

I get so, so mad

So easy

Frustrated with my frustration

I sometimes feel like

I am living on time that is not mine

Like I cheated life somehow

Like I shouldn't be here

Like I am not deserved

But I am, here, still

It is a daily struggle to get out of bed

It is a daily struggle to avoid the dread

Old and Tired

Feel like my feet are stuck in the mud

Cloudy thoughts

Blurred vision

Floating aimlessly

Still struggle with the day to day

Forget, a lot

No motivation

No drive

No passion

Momentary bursts of energy

Long periods of tiredness and malaise

They are becoming more frequent

Not depressed

Simply lethargic

Feel worthless and lazy

Dark Voice

Always a calling

Always a voice

Always an answer

Always a choice

Sometimes bitter

Sometimes sweet

Sometimes far away

Sometimes at my feet

Never far away

Yet never close behind

A spot of darkness

Stains my mind 

Stop

I am my own anchor

I am my own ball and chain

Memories tied to my sordid past

Bring forth fountains of pain

I need no reminders of the failure I am

Lure

At the edge of the dark water

Will the lure 

Of the dark comfort

Draw me in

Giving way 

To what I am tired of fighting

So tired, so god awful tired

Quiet

That voice

That ugly nagging voice

You know

That voice

The one that constantly

Reminds me

Of what an utter

Failure 

I am

Reminds me of every failure

Constantly

Incapable of overcoming

This wall 

Of failures

Or the voice that reminds me